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Category Archives: You Turn Me on Like a Machine!

Et Tu, Uterus?

Et Tu, Uterus?

If Caesar were alive today, he’d be stabbed to death with a speculum.  Three days shy the Ides of March, there is something disproportionately apropos for the Republicans in the State Assembly to make use of its limited time left in the current legislative session to vote on three bills that further the national war on women.
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Fools Rush In

Fools Rush In

Be silent always when you doubt your Sense,
And speak, tho’ sure, with seeming diffidence.
Some positive persisting fops we know,
Who if once wrong will needs be always so;
But you with pleasure own your errors past,
And make each day a critique on the last.

— Alexander Pope, “An Essay on Criticism” Read the rest of this entry »

 

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What’s Good for the Golden Goose…Not So Much the Michigander

What’s Good for the Golden Goose…Not So Much the Michigander

Pompous hypocrisy and opportunism go hand in glove — or mitt, if you prefer.  In politics it is both a perk and a prerequisite.  There’s almost no such thing as a good slogan, soundbites are so ubiquitously regurgitated the words become reduced to drivel (to say nothing of the sincerity of the sentiment), and either we throw ourselves to the thrall of Revival-like electioneering crusades at the expense of our better judgment and reason, or we close our ears to it like classically trained cynics (no less at our rational expense); we tune in or tune out the tinny prattle of campaign patois, depending on our preset dials.  Along with the grandstanding, posturing, preening, and pandering, this is all to be expected.  But there is a tenuous snapping point to a candidate’s inconsistencies stretched beyond the torque of mere contradiction when he becomes not merely a raving, flaming, laughable fraud, but something troublingly worse: a man with no meaning.  Such is the rhetoric of Romney. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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United We Stand, Divided We Falk

United We Stand, Divided We Falk

In a moment of post-ironic solidarity conservatives across Wisconsin came together in mass thanks of the gift they received yesterday over the state’s largest public sector union endorsing the most union-sympathetic candidate running against Governor Scott Walker in a recall election.  Following the endorsement of WEAC — Wisconsin Education Association Council — the state’s largest teachers union only twelve days before, the state division of AFSCME, representing some 60,000 public workers, giddily rallied behind candidate Kathleen Falk, former Dane County Executive and two-time loser for statewide office.  Conservatives did not respond to our requests for an interview, but in an email a spokesperson summed it up in bold italics: “Told You So!” Read the rest of this entry »

 

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The Honorable Judge Activist

The Honorable Judge Activist

Not to sound like the beginning gag of a standup comedian or anything, but have you ever noticed that when conservatives drop the term “activist judge” it’s always in reference to a ruling they don’t like?  “Legislating from the bench” is another term of art they’re quick at the tongue to traduce, meaning a member of the judiciary creating laws rather than interpreting them.  You know, egregious overreaches by the courts such as Brown v. Board of Education or Loving v. Virginia.  But such selective slander seldom if ever seems to apply when a conservative judge or court calls the shots.  Who labeled Chief Justices Rehnquist or libeled Roberts as “activist” in Bush v. Gore or Citizens United, respectively?  Both were arguable breaches of judicial probity.  It seems only a conservative can accuse another — anyone — as activist, irrespective of supporting fact or substantive grounds.  For just as when Republicans ballyhoo a hue and cry about invasive government only when it comes to business regulations or environmental protections — and never about whom you are sleeping with, or how — their bete noir becomes their best friend when a conservative agenda is gaveled, no matter how abusive of power.  It’s heads I win, tails you lose. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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ON__NE C_N_OR_HIP

ON__NE C_N_OR_HIP

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about PIPA & SOPA, but I’m willing to bet dollars for donuts that you have yet to see it all so elaborately, beautifully, or painstakingly explained as this:

http://www.apeconmyth.com/00227-super-pipa-sopa/

Courtesy of the good people of Ape Con Myth

 

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What’s Good for Becky’s Bad for Bucky

What’s Good for Becky’s Bad for Bucky

Let’s talk turkey.  Or at least about one.  The recall against Scott Walker has been going steadily well the last two weeks.  The minimum number of signatures needed to trigger a recall election is 540,208, but to play it safe we are aiming closer to the 600,000-700,000 range, as the GOP establishment will undoubtedly challenge the reams and reams of petitions.  But this is only half the story, for we are not trying to recall Walker alone, but also his running mate, Rebecca Kleefisch, the Lieutenant Governor.  The Attorney General of Wisconsin, J.B. Van Hollen, decided that there had to be two separate petitions for the offices — even though both were elected together on the same ballot.  So that in reality puts the total amount of signatures well past the million mark — let’s say 1,400,000 — and still we have only 60 days to collect them.  That’s about 23,000 signatures per day, a pretty daunting hurdle to by any measure.  While collecting signatures and explaining that there’s a separate one for Kleefisch, I have had dozens of folks ask me quite innocently, “Who even is she?” or “What does she even do?”  To which my only grasped straw of a response has been, “Wear way too much makeup.”  A catty quip, and probably beneath me, but so be it.  But it has made me ask myself, Who is this show-and-tell shill for Sephora — what’s her story? what are her qualifications? and, what for the love of all things holy is up with her hair?  Here is what I have disinterred. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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