Proposition Straight

Finally, the issue of universal marriage has come to the Supreme Court so that a national dialogue can at least begin, stripped of religious symbolism and meretricious rhetoric, predicated on this one basic question:

What is the government’s interest, state or federal, in drawing a line of distinction between gay and straight relationships?

It’s a question that I personally have been invested in for as long as I can remember, unarguably way more so than any indefectibly straight, single man who is not a lawyer or has any background in law ever should.  I have written about, lobbied on behalf of, and fought for universal marriage more than any other political matter.  I have gone so far as to label such willed discrimination as heterosexual apartheid.  (I don’t much care for the term of art “gay marriage,” because that automatically sets the tone in a misguided direction.  The issue is one of contract law, which I believe, as many do, is a matter protected by the Establishment Clause of the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution, which grants equal protection to citizens.  It is a marriage contract, after all, which when recognized, is your token exchange for all the 1600+ benefits bestowed upon you as a married couple from the state and federal governments.  Besides, it carries the connotation of “universal suffrage” to it.)

But I don’t care to delve into all that right now, mainly because there isn’t much I can add that you, dear reader, do not already know.  So instead I thought to make this scribble a little more fun and interesting by placing bets about how the Court will rule on Proposition 8, the ballot question a majority of Californian voters approved in 2008 that categorically denied recognition of same-sex marriages (but still kept intact civil unions).  With the oral arguments occurring coincidentally during the March Madness of college basketball, below you will see my own brackets.  All winners will receive one of the following: a new poem dedicated to you, a new scribble of a topic of the winner’s own suggestion, or future swag the likes of t-shirts and lapel pins that read “I Got Scribbled A Bit.”

 

Borrow Me Some Equality, Yah Hey?

In a statewide referendum in 2006 Wisconsin overwhelmingly voted “I do” to the following:

“Only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state.  A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state.”

71 of Wisconsin’s 72 counties approved this wording, effectively enshrining discrimination in the state constitution.  (The lone holdout was Dane County, where Madison is.)

Six years later Wisconsin once again waxed cognitive dissonance by voting Tammy Baldwin to be the next U.S. Senator — Tammy, the liberal lesbian from Madison — over four-time governor and basic poster child for all things Badger State, Brandy Old Fashioned and all, Tommy Thompson.  (Yes, Tammy versus Tommy.  Tommy Thompson.  In Wisconsin.  Where our other senator is Ron Johnson.  Ron Johnson from Wisconsin.  Who ousted Russ Feingold.  More specifically, Ron Johnson’s from Oshkosh B’gosh pert near da Bay you betcha go you Packers go, oh sure then don’t you know.  Ya wanna come with?  Aw Jeez, for Cripes sakes, W’scansin! 

 

Bovine Providence (or, Having a Gay’old Time at Summer Camp in North Carolina)

The latest from the great state of North Carolina…

 

Cain but Unable

Is there any evidence to doubt that electoral races are more about the cult of personality that surrounds each candidate than the substance of their policy proposals?  Jack Kennedy looked good because Nixon came off as something caught between an out-of-work vice principal on a bender and a panhandling hobo with an organ grinder and tiny monkey clapping cymbals.  Reagan looked great because he was the Marlboro Man who radiated Norman Rockwell nostalgia together with a Californian confidence and can-do attitude all avuncular smiles, while Jimmy Carter’s worried face and baggy eyes were the caricatured lampoon of spineless, ineffectual Democrat.  “Dubya” masqueraded as the guy you’d get a beer with, while Gore was an unblinking robot with as much charisma as the Sears Roebuck wooden crate he came shipped in.  And Obama against McCain, good lord!  It was like Magic Johnson and Bruce Springsteen rolled up in one going against Archie and Edith Bunker behind the piano caterwauling “Those Were the Days.”

 

Slick Rick Slipping a Michigan Mickie

Earlier this month the state senate in Michigan, in response to the tragic rise of deaths attributable to bullying in America — at least ten of which occurred in Michigan alone in the last decade — passed “Matt’s Safe School Law,” a measure that requires school districts to adopt anti-bullying policies.  Unless the bullying is done out of “a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction”; then it’s A-OK, whether you’re a school employee or school volunteer, a student or the parent/ guardian of a student.

 

Worth a Thousand Words